A new dawn, a new blog.

Just an update, I'm back in Germany after my second year in college which was spent at Brigham Young University Idaho. I decided my other blog was kind of dark and depressing so I'm just going to start over rather than try to fix the broken. It's strange to think I've been back a week already because time is flying fast! I've been taking things easy with the family and cleaning up my messes I left when I was last here. The routine goes that I live here until I have to go to college but don't pack anything until the week before I leave and even then it's not packing, I just throw things in plastic boxes with my name on it. So, I decided I'll do it right this time. I went through every box I had, threw away the un-needed and boxed the good memories and things I could really use later in life. Let me tell you how fun that was! The usual daunting and frightening task was surprisingly pleasant with a walk down memory lane. Sadly I did not take picture of the before but the aftermath of the mess that was once here is a phenomenal difference. I've organized just about everything I own and this is never the case in my life but it feels great! Of the few years I've been here, I've finally found a perfect arrangement for my room and I hung the first picture on my bedroom wall, this is also a first in my life. I guess you could say I'm used to changing furniture or houses just to keep the change flowing so putting things on the wall promotes disappointing permanence that will never be awarded. Thankfully, for the time being this permanence, even if it ends in disappointment, it's welcomed with open arms and is here for a little while.

Other changes that have been occurring in my life could just go on in list form but I like to talk about it so I'll spell it out for you. We found out on Thursday August 4th, 2011 that my father Brent Russell Ray is being promoted in the near future to CW5. He has reached the highest he can go in his career with the Army and we are very proud of him. We were comparing ranks since he is a Warrant Officer, he is on a different level than those who have enlisted but he is now the equivalent to a Colonel and that makes him smile :) You should see how big his smile is, there is no help for you when you are around him you just have to give in and smile too. It's a mystery why just a few years ago we had such trouble together. My rebel soul and his stubbornness just doesn't make sense anymore. This is the family I have grown to love and we will spend eternity together. YIPEE!!!

On a more sad note, my brother Spencer is about reached his end of tour here in Germany so that means he will be leaving us in the next few months to go stateside. It is a happier thought though that he seems to have a nice plan going for him. Plans for a car, how to finance things just right so he can buy things he wants and needs. I should be taking notes, it sounds splendid when it comes out of his mouth. However, in the mix of all these plans is also a deployment to Afghanistan. Not for awhile but still not pleasant no matter how good he makes it sound, he will still be missed when he leaves.

My dear sweet mother is doing just fine, my first day back I convinced her to look at dresses with me and my dad spoiled us with two dresses each and a skirt and shirt set for my mother. *I would like to add in that when I say my dad spoiled us it was really my dad saying my mother should get a new dress and my mom gave in and paid for the lot ;)* They are all beautiful and my dad has caught me "playing dress up" as he calls it in the early morning hours when I can't sleep. Call it what you will, I feel beautiful and you can't stop me! haha, I've even found some cute styles for my hair so it's all around successful time spend while others are sleeping.

Mahonri and Simeon both got haircuts which is quite different. The Mahonri I left would go kicking and screaming into the barber shop because he loved his long hair more than anything else. Just last week he cut it all off willingly and looks older if I do say so myself. Simeon quickly followed and both are stunning young priesthood holders. Alex has not gotten a haircut yet but my dad thinks he likes the way Mo and Sim look so I'm sure he is to follow suit here shortly. But for now even with the long hair he is still adorable king of our hearts while Sim assists mo in giving him swirlies :)

So over all the Ray family is doing good even Michelle and Sadie came to visit this weekend and we enjoyed that. Cody is to come home soon and we all look forward to that day, if only we could say the same about Sara. Sara is freshly graduated from Arizona State and looking into Weber state for a suitable Masters Program that is worthy of her presence. It will be hard to be worthy for my passionate sister but if she does settle there they will be greatly blessed.

There are Great memories all around the great motherland of Germany but it is quite strange to think of all the fun times I've had here when I was growing up and finding myself. It wasn't but seven months ago that I was still venturing on that road and hit quite a few brick walls, it is surely nice to be back with a fresh start knowing that anything is possible and I'm strong enough to handle it with dignity and endure it with my accountability. It's hard to think about "growing up" because heaven knows I still am but I have come a long ways from even a month ago. My mind is sound and my heart is full.

Lastly, I have a lot to be thankful for. There has been a lot of talk in the past few days of the need to be thankful and with all this time to myself cleaning I've come to realize just how much I've been given. At the expense of time, money and emotional exhaustion my mother has given me everything I have for nearly 20 years. In a time where divorce rates are high, health is fading and where families and individuals around the world are giving in to the tough circumstances we are the generation resulting in failing families, shattered lives and a world of dishonesty. I am so lucky to have the family I have in using every moment of their own lives to teach not only truth but Gospel truths. Everything good and useful I have ever learned, it has come from my parents who have stuck through it all even when we seemed to be falling ourselves and that is a rare thing I am a proud witness of. I'm grateful for my siblings because annoying at best they are engraved in my heart. Just as good, my second family, the Hadley's, have taken me in just prior to me coming home and I've had the privilege to see another great family at work that have been so kind to me. It was a pleasure truly to not only see but to act a part of this fabulous family with sweet spirits and unforgettable smiles. I even got to beat Grandpa at his own game and that was a simple delight. All the things I am grateful for could not all be listed but everything in my life is a blessing no matter if others think it to be a curse. From a failed relationship I found two very good friends Jake Munns and Leif Boren. I would always try to sneak word in about a certain someone but you let me do it and helped me through it all. I will never forget the words you said when I need it most. Especially dear Leif who on multiple occasions would say just the simplest things that would have me reevaluating my life so i can be better for someone else. But alas, the fun not serious times full of pure bliss are stuck in my mind forever. I've truly been blessed with dear friends and fantastic roommates that I just so happened to fall in with by chance of a change contract. It isn't by mistake and I will never forget them. The great Villanueva's have been very dear to me at the times when I wasn't able to be back with my family and it's always relaxing and joyful being around them. A crazy funny family that is stable and striving in all of their trials. I've learned so much from them in just a short time and I'm proud to say Papi is just as close as my own father and i've gained two more brothers out of that family too. Alexis and Ashlynn, I cannot WAIT to see you girls again but it's sooner than later and there is no getting out of it ;) Lastly I would like to express my deep gratitude for my dearest friend Erik Jackson who even though I was difficult and fickle at times, he was true to his priesthood first and foremost, my best friend second. It has been quite the ride and long at that but it will be another nine months until I see you again and I know you're having the time of your life. I admire your diligence and how hard you work, I am so very proud to even call you a friend and wait for the moment I can see your smile in person again.

For everyone I love I say Stay Strong and Endure to the End
-Ani Ray