We all have moments. Some good, some bad. Life after all is just innumerable moments linked together in time. You've felt the joy and the pain. The confusion and certainty. Well this post is for my moments larger than life that everyone feels.
This is it, the moments from within. It's the time you forget yourself or when your world suddenly comes to a halt. When you're sitting in a silent room waiting for a sign or when you're praying not to cry. Have you ever gotten in the shower and never wanted to get out? Well I do every day because I think life is easier that way. Life is easy when you have your moments of fun. You have a schedule and as long as it isn't interrupted everything is fine!... But then you're let down or just give up. In my head I see my moments as if they are out of body experiences. Someone sitting next to me watching the emotion in my face. We all build up walls trying not to get hurt and unfortunately we do.
I build up walls and plan out some conversations just so I won't freeze. I'm a thinker and a dreamer. I dread "the talks" and would rather hide yet I deeply desire closer. I do freeze! Most of the time I cannot say what I actually feel. Maybe that's just someones way of saying "keep your mouth shut or you're going to get hurt worse!" ha, I laugh I cry and some times I just sleep to avoid both. I let people down and I get disappointed. It's the moments when you realize how little you are that you then go somewhere. It's being broken down to build yourself up. Life is the joy of the rain, or the feeling of the sun. It's passion and desire. It's finding friends in unexpected places and growing from the dust.
Some times I forget to shave and realize in a public place, slightly ashamed. I dance while walking down unoccupied hallways and always have a song in my head. I love being alone, watching romantic movies just to find hope. I dream of kissing in the rain and ballroom dancing. These are the moments of secrecy. The moments alone help me understand myself and definitely understand that I long for a friend that is just that. Life is complicated and naturally we make it more complicated with time. But this is real.
This is my shout out to weakness and release: thank you for silent conversations. Thank you for tough words. Thank you for the calm after the storm. And thanks for guilt and conscience.
I am grateful for passion and the peace that it brings. We all deserve to find something that gives us joy and helps us deal with stress.
None of these words actually do justice for what I'm trying to say but we can't deny the little things that make our life.
Here's to every moment. May all our future moments be better and full of promise.
-Ani
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