Awkward moments.

Life is full of awkward moments. I can say I've truly been embarrassed only a few times in my short life but awkward moments I encounter daily! I've seen it all, from awkwardly walking in on your roommates making out to walking into an hour long class 55 minutes late because you think you're five minutes early. Ok, maybe I haven't just seen those awkward moments... I've experienced them! Like the moment you lose something and it's sitting in your hand or when you call your boyfriend by your ex-boyfriends name. I think even though it may take me a moment to recuperate they actually aren't embarrassing, just perfectly awkward.

I don't really like to be quiet, the silence kills me and I think it is indeed VERY awkward. I like to carry on conversations by creating small talk and I don't find it weird but I've recently learned that others do. Is it wrong to want to be friendly to people you don't really know that well? Why can't you just take time and entertain me with small talk? How else are you supposed to get to know someone? 

When I was younger I was quiet and to myself really. I like to call myself a bedroom artist. My fondest memories are in my room creating masterpieces. I did it all! Dancing, singing and I even wrote my own songs. Nothing I would share today but I wouldn't share it then either. If anyone would walk in on my work I would promptly deter and pretend to do something else. I liked my solitude and wouldn't give it up for anything. Something changed when I made several location moves in my life, however, and I've opened up a lot. In high school my mother always called me a social butterfly and while I still hold my alone time to a high standard, I think there is good in creating conversation with random people. My outgoing self might even be offended if you deny me of that simple pleasure but I cannot be too mad if people aren't comfortable with it. 

I try to think of the word "awkward" and how much it is used in our culture today. I can't imagine people 30 years ago physically saying "awkward" in moments of discomfort like we do. I think it's funny but what is even funnier to think about awkward moments that might have happened in ancient time. Do you think the 12 disciples encountered awkward situations? I'm sure they did but they either handled it very well or didn't write about the truly awkward things. There are situations when they were in places they wouldn't normally go without Christ, such as into places with leprosy but it didn't stop them from doing it. People went places that were uncomfortable and they dealt with it. I'm sure they tried to avoid it just as we do but it's just not the same. I can't really think of any awkward moment relatable to ancient time or even renaissance time. We are just a weird generation!

This is to the words that slip out of your mouth before you can process what you are trying to say. And to many more days of making fools of ourselves. No matter what race, size, make or model.... Happy living

-Ani