Today I find myself in awe and wonder. It has only been a week living in Las Vegas and I don't think I've ever been this aware of how lucky and blessed I am. It's not ONLY that I am now the wife to a great guy but my eyes have simply been open to wonderful things I forget to acknowledge when life gets busy. I owe this realization to the time I have had 'looking for employment.' While I wait for the fish to bite and more opportunities to come along, I enjoy being a 'housewife.' I sarcastically say, "WHAT A SHAME!" but inside I'm really thinking, "this is the life!"
I've slowly come to realize life is not about working 2 jobs, 50+ hours a week or 18+ college credits a semester. It's not about the things you have either though. To be honest, before I left Iowa, when I wasn't at work I was on my computer or the TV was on to create background noise. I've thoroughly enjoyed not having background noise or those distractions. Though in my mind it was very necessary for my long distant relationship to work with Colton, I am glad I do not feel a slave to those things anymore. I read in quote today that had this message: we are given the choice to choose for ourselves. Free agency and adversity is a gift given to all and that's why it's so important to BEHAVIORALLY distance ourselves from the world. We must do it not because we find ourselves better than our brothers (or sisters) but because we love men and we love our Heavenly Father who wants us to come back to Him. I've always heard that we need to be in the world and not of the world but I've never thought about it as behaviorally distancing ourselves from the bad. It all makes perfect sense!
I was just discussing last night with Colton about beggars. I imagine it would take quite a lot of courage for someone who truly needs help to actually ask for it. It comes in our nature to hide our weaknesses for fear that someone might use it against us. That is my fear at least. When you go on a date for the first time, don't you avoid all bad things this person could find out about you? Don't you showcase all the good you have to offer? It's normal! But when it comes to separating ourselves from the world it would be shown in this scenario of a beggar vs a thief. I do not like to judge the people I see on the streets and if asked for a little assistance I am most willing to help. I cannot tell them what they do or do not do with the help I give once I have given it, that is their own choice. In my mind, however, I hope they use it for what will bring them true happiness. Whether it's to buy gas to visit family or to help prepare a meal they otherwise would not have, I have no control. The admonition to separate ourselves in behavior would also separate the beggars and the thieves who just take money.
What I choose to do with my free time could make me lazy or productive. Some may see watching TV as being a waste of time or it could be a needed time to relax to prepare yourself to be more productive later on. I see it as being judged by the intent of your heart. Did the beggar really need gas money or is it being used to feed a habit or addiction? That I will leave to the Lord to judge. I will not evade service by judging with my worldly eyes but I, myself, can choose to separate myself from man by the intent of my heart. I choose to be a daughter of God that will not use trickery to get gain. I am a woman that has made covenants to separate myself today from the woman I used to be and the woman I may have become if I chose a different path many years ago.
I, Stephani Wood, am a daughter of wonderful parents who have taught me to stand out. I have been blessed to see adversity and experience pain but it has only helped me along. I may make mistakes as everyone else but I am distanced by the way I handle it. I am distanced from the world behaviorally because I can feel my Saviors love, who is Jesus Christ. He allows me the chance to confess and forsake my sins. If I am enough in my lowly estate to be watched over and cared for by Him than so is everyone I come in contact with. Everyone is given this same opportunity.
This life is not about our social status or how better off we are compared to another. This life is about the chance to actually experience life. It's to learn! We learn together! I learn about myself, I learn about happiness and why I am here. I learn about where I am going and where I have been. It's a continual learning and will not stop in this mortal world. I along with my brothers and sisters, the beggars and sinners, the scientists and artists will live this life however we choose. We will be able to take what we want from life, good or bad. But for me, I will take the chance to be different behaviorally. I am not looking to be prettier than my neighbor or smarter than my professor but I am trying to be kinder than I was yesterday and smarter tomorrow than I was today.
I know it has already been a long post and I don't know who will be reading this or if they close it after the first paragraph but I believe nothing is more important than what I have to say right now. It's my testimony that I hope people will take with them to find their own. To find truth. I know that we are not here by mere chance. We are here because we chose to be here. We are all sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father who wanted us to learn for ourselves and choose our own way. He gave his Only Begotten Son to die for us. Jesus Christ walked the Earth and felt our pain not for a time but until it caused his death. He was resurrected that we could do the same. It won't be immediate but the time will come when all who live will be resurrected. I know I will be able to see loved ones I have lost again. I know my grandfather, Silas, is in good hands and even though he may have struggled (as do I in different ways) we are not loved any less. Love is a gift from heaven and we are charged to be charitable just as we have received charity. I know there is a living prophet on the earth today and has a message to share that I hope I can share with everyone too. Happiness is so much more than a christmas gift from Santa Claus or a funny joke. Happiness is the fact that we can live with our families forever and death will not separate us. I am blessed with this knowledge and the chance I've had to learn it for myself. I do bear this witness unto all who will listen and I do it in the name of my Savior, Jesus Christ.
-Stephani Wood
